It was a pretty lackluster day at work today and I found myself looking for something to do in order to grab some extra hours. Our office manager told me that the air filters in our surgery room looked kinda filthy and would appreciate it if I could use my height to change them out. So I grabbed the ladder from the stock room, my favorite "Air Filtration Technician" Lynsi and went on my way. As I was humming "I Can't Fight This Feeling" I walked the 4 or 5 steps of the ladder to the top and reached up to the ceiling filter and began unscrewing the screws that would remove the filter lid. As I was doing this, I looked down at the 5 or 6 feet fall below me and my mind wandered to a far better place. I mentioned to Lynsi that I could easily "fall" off the ol' ladder and take her out if she wanted some "paid time off". She was definitely game. Somewhere in the back of my cluttered brain, I envisioned a world of waking up each morning to the sound of the 10 o'clock Sportscenter instead of my 7 o'clcok alarm clock. Instead of showering and shaving, I was throwing a Tostinos Crisp Crust pizza in the oven and searching my DVR recordings for late night Skinimax. And lastly, instead of buying time in the workplace bathroom to read, I'd be free to spend most of my day, sipping ice cold Coronas in the bathtub, scouring the pages of fantasy baseball magazines and Playboys. Yes, folks. I was contemplating taking a plunge for the team and collecting my beautiful Worker's Comp paychecks to the bank. I joked with one of the doctors about how nice it'd be to "accidentally" slip and spend the next few weeks watching Cold Case re-runs and Home Improvement and he laughed amusingly. LIttle did he know I was actually 75% serious. Who hasn't thought about a little paid time off, heh? For every banana peel laying in the company kitchen, for every snow-covered sidewalk in the morning, and for every too-heavy box to lift, there is a little place in everyone's heart that is filled with joy, peace, and ice cold Coronas in the bathtub.
Ummmm. Where's the mention of where you were going to fall on me, so that I too, may indulge in some workman's comp. I'd wake up, roll over to your place with some croissanwiches from the BK. We'd drink beer, order pizza from Arni's and play Wii all day. Oh and we could practice for our soon to be victorious appearance on American Idol.
ReplyDeleteI apologize Lynsi. How could I forget my assistant in the matter. Yes, one day I will fall from the ladder, take her out, and enable us both to collect worker's comp. And yes, Wii, Arni's pies and beer would be included.
ReplyDeleteby the way, I think that song we wrote today about medicine is probably our best bet at making it to Hollywood.