Some People Have Crack Addictions, I have a Trading Problem.

An intervention is needed would be an understatement. I am a very sick man. I need help, and I don't know what to do. I am a fantasy sports "Trading Junkie". Although I've always found trading adult ball players to imaginary teams that they don't even know exist, my problem reached its pinnacle last night. I was sitting on the couch at my dad's house, watching the Pacers game, while him and his wife prepared dinner. At the moment, I was perfectly content, simply enjoying an ice cold Michelob, watching the Pacers take down the Jameer Nelson-less Magic. Then it hit me. The trading urge needed its fix and I knew there was no way to stop it. Next thing I know, I'm hiding in the bathroom, on the phone, trying to tell a guy that Jarret Jack's minutes have increased as of late, trying to pry away Rashard Lewis and Al Thornton for Caron Butler and Jack. He didn't bite right away, but two more secret bathroom business calls later, Rashard Lewis and Thornton were mine and I was sending Butler and Rip Hamilton packing. I flushed the toilet to seem like I was doing the deed and went back to the table, dipped the last bite of my New York strip in the A-1 soaked potatoes, and smiled contently......Tonight was a good night.

It didn't hit me what I had actually done until I returned home to check the night's stats of my players. Holy Shit. Now that Butler wasn't a member of "Yao's Boner May Okur", I had done the unthinkable. I currently had a team that did not include ONE fucking player I orginally drafted. It would be hard enough to set out before the year with these intentions and pull off this feat, but I had done it accidentally. Before the ALl-Star break nonetheless. Like I said, I am a sick, sick man. Below is a list of all my trading endeavors from this season thus far and two rosters. One that I originally drafted before the season and the other one is my roster as of today.

Trade: Tony Parker, Carlos Boozer, and Tayshaun Prince for Paul Pierce, Mehmet Okur, Bayless

Trade: Nene Hilario for Jermaine O'Neal and Spencer Hawes

Trade: Devin Harris, Paul Pierce, Jermaine O'Neal for Yao Ming, Vince Carter, and Jason Terry

Trade: Brad Miller, Ramon Sessions, Margues Daniels for Al Harrington and Andre Iguadola

Trade: Carmelo Anthony, Kevin Love for Baron Davis

Trade: Jason Terry, Al Harrington, Andres Bargnani for Jameer Nelson, Michael Redd, Brook Lopez

Trade: Brook Lopez for John Salmons

Trade: John Salmons, Ray Allen, Shawn Marion, Daequan Cook for Rodney Stuckey, Prince, Tony Parker, and Luis Scola

Trade: Tony Parker, Jameer Nelson, Ron Artest for Raymond Felton, Rasheed Wallace, and Russell Westbrook

Trade: Russell Westbrook, Michael Redd, Vince Carter, Tayshaun Prince, and Mike Conley for Deron Williams, Shawn Marion, John Salmons, Mike Dunleavy, and Daequan Cook

Trade: Shawn Marion and Rasheed Wallace for Pau Gasol

Trade: Mike Dunleavy, John Salmons, and Baron Davis for Andre Miller, Jason Richardson, Rip Hamilton

Trade: Rip Hamilton and Caron Butler for Rashard Lewis and Al Thornton









Originally Drafted Team
"Yao's Boner May Okur"

PG: Devin Harris
SG: Ray Allen
G: Tony Parker
SF: Caron Butler
PF: Carlos Boozer
F: Carmelo Anthony
C: Brad Miller
Util: Ray Allen
Util: Tayshaun Prince



Current Team
"Yao's Boner May Okur"

PG: Deron Williams
SG: Jason Richardson
G: Andre Miller
SF: Rashard Lewis
PF: Mehmet Okur
F: Paul Gasol
C: Yao Ming
Util: Rodney Stuckey
Util: Al Thornton

No bench players are the same as well. Like I said. Holy. Shit. Holy. Shit.

Please. If anybody knows of a good Fantasy Trading Addiction support group, let me know. Well, now I'm off to research Yao Ming's home/away rebounding splits to see if I can exchange him for a can of urine soaked peanuts and a Jack Trudeau jersey.