“NO BLUETOOTH BITCHES!”
As many of you already know, I despise the use of hands-free cellular phone headsets almost as much as I hate my penis at 3 in the morning after an all-night drinking escapade. Well, today I found myself in a predicament at work that actually might have been an instance that I could see a Bluetooth headset coming in handy. However, I REFUSE to subject to the power of the C.D.C (Cellular Deuschbag Committee). While I was working today, I was spending some time on my cellular phone trying to get ahold of the capitalist monopolizing sons of bitches known as Comcast, but the hold times were ridiculous. I was trying to actually dispute a bill, and I swear to god that once you let them know you are questioning a bill or cancelling your service, they instantly just place you on hold without any intention to ever actually answer the phone and assist you. Comcast’s goal: leave em’ on hold long enough and they’ll just give up. That might work for some people, but NOT Dr. H. So I did the most logical thing I could thing of. I taped my phone to the side of my head with Scotch tape and continued my day at work for the next hour until the little shitheads answered my call. Yes, I got some really strange looks at me from fellow employees, but that was a minor price to pay for beating the Comcast tradition of fucking its customers up the butt.
This is a picture of how ridiculous I looked today at work wearing my “Bluetooth Cellular Headset: Scotch Tape Edition”
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