10. Just learned Julius Peppers wants traded. Why on earth do I dream about the Colts signing him and moving Freeney to outside linebacker even though I know it would never happen?
9. I heard Jon Clayton has a rat tail. You actually never see the back of his neck. Could it be true?
8. From this day forward, I will call QVC once a night and demand to give my testimonial on air. When my wish is granted, I will stop calling them.
7. I wish I could do a “poo-poo dance” like my dog, Lexus, when I had completed the job……..Now that is pride.
6. Madden on the Wii is retarded. I’ve owned it for 2 weeks, and even on All-Madden, I win every game by 60 points. Point blank, I’m not especially good on any console, so this is definitely ridiculous.
5. Kareem Abdul Jabaar had 55 different 40 plus point games in his career. Ridiculous. And yes, I know Wilt had many more, but his didn’t count since he was the only black guy out there towering over everyone by 2 feet.
4. The Snuggy. If you’ve seen their ridiculous informercial you know what I’m talking about. The family wearing them at the sporting event seriously looks like a cult of creepy monks.
3. I might be behind the ball, but Nip/Tuck is fucking brilliant. What I would give to be Christian. Coke off of models’ asses? I’m game.
2. Apparently Tommy fucking LaSorda. Yes, the same fat fuck that used to manage the Dodgers and now just shows his rosacia-covered cheeks on diet infomercials. Well, apparently he is hung like a mutated Samoan Warrior. The exact phrase that was used was “like two coke cans stacked on top of each other”. If you need more, check this out. There’s some pretty good other material before and after it, including the now-infamous Florida University leg pooper.
http://deadspin.com/5132956/the-one-with-the-sorority-girl-w ith-the-poop-on-her-leg
1. Please. Do not ever ask me how I found this website.
If you ever wanted to know what your favorite fantasy baseball player’s weiner was like, chances are some broad has posted something about it on here.
http://www.bulgereport.com/
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