10. Oklahoma City Thunder? C’mon. I thought only WNBA teams were supposed to have stupid singular mascot names. You know, The Spark, The Liberty, The Discharging Vagina.
9. Pat Summit has a set of testicles.
8. About 75 percent of my restroom breaks at work do not consist of pooping or peeing. I just sit in there and read or stare at the wall.
7. Have you ever had to have a meeting at school with your Principal and Mother (Who also happens to teach at the school) in order to listen to a confiscated tape recorder that was mostly filled with dialogue such as, “There are no dumbbells here, just my balls baby, spank em” or “We are not working out, we are definitely fucking”?……………….I have.
6. J.O. must be shitting his pants with excitement about the trade rumors sending him to Miami. He gets to leave Canada and go to Miami? That is like going from eating poop to eating supermodel pussy.
5. I absolutely hate marshmallow arms. You know the, the fat guy that thinks his fat arms are muscles and insists on wearing cut offs in order to show off his barbed wire or tribal tattoos?
4. Speaking of tattoos. If you have gotten a barbed wire or tribal tattoo in the last three years, you are a tool. Chinese symbols are getting their quickly as well.
3. When a woman tells you that she isn’t wearing any underwear, it might not be just because she is trying to be sexy. She might have actually accidentally shit herself and had to throw away the underwear.
2. I stood up to wipe my ass until I was 13 years old.
1. I HATE the guy at the gym that is always asking to “work in” with you. Yes I mind and I also don’t appreciate you humiliating me by adding a hundred fucking pounds each set. You know what else? Lose the milk jug filled with water that you are carrying around the weight room by a fucking rope and use the damn water fountain like normal people.
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