10. What the hell is with the people that are always wearing workout clothes? Since when did dropping the kids off at day care or going grocery shopping become an aerobic activity requiring a jump suit? Maybe they're just worried. You never know when a game of kick ball could break out.
9. I'm not a racist. I swear. But I shouldn't have to press "1" for English. They should have to press something for Spanish.
8. I wish you always paid the bill before you ate or drank something at restaurants. I hate having to fork up cash for something that i don't want, need, or have anymore. You always pay the hooker BEFORE you have sex with her in female/male chipmunk costumes, right?
7. When I get really old, I'm going to drink, drive and steal everything. Cops and other drivers won't suspect me of being drunk, because all old people suck balls at driving and they won't smell it on your breath, since all old people's breath smells like the moisture between Matt Milton's upper thigh and hairy, left testicle and coffee. Secondly, I 'm stealing everything. If I get caught, i'll just act confused. It must suck enough watching your dick shrivel up like a baked pepperoni, the least we can do is give them a few perks.
6. I am going to ask you a ridiculous question and whether you like to admit it, you will have an answer in your head. There is always an answer to every question.
Would you rather have a non-functioning weiner on your forehead or only have one leg?
Yes, not being able to play sports or walk would suck, but i have a hard time picturing myself picking up chicks with a flacid cock dangling between my eyes.
5. If our economy is so bad right now, explain to me how the WNBA is still around.
4. You know how blind people that were born blind have never seen anything? Then what happens when they dream? If they have never seen anything, they wouldn't be able to picture anything in their heads, so what the hell would a dream for them be like?
3. Exactly 59 days from now, my ass will be cemented to a bar stool at O.P.T's, smelling the warm open-air breeze, dripping hot sauce from my pizza on my sandals, cold beer in hand, and staring lustfully at the MLB TV Gamecast on the television......Ahhhhh spring is coming.
2. If Yao Ming's last name is Ming, then why do they put his first name on the back of his jersey?
1. Local sports radio shows need to seriously consider canceling the practice of taking calls from their listeners. It is painful to listen to their worthless insight.
Dear Joe from Southport:
longtime tool, first time faggot
Nobody gives a fuck about what you think the Colts should do on defense. Mike Dunleavy isn't a point guard. He's 6'9'' you idiot. And we could give two shits about your worthless ideas for the Colts defensive schemes. You don't even know what a 3-4 defense is and you weren't any good at football in high school either. Go get your mullet trimmed at Great Clips and leave the sports talk to people that actually have valid thoughts.
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