Predicting the Future is a lot like pissing when you’re drunk. Usually, you are confident at the beginning, but towards the end, you start to stutter. However, these are my National League predictions for the upcoming 2009 season…….American League is soon to follow.
p.s. I think I have founded a new term. When you go to the restroom and someone asks if you are taking a “#1” or a “#2”, what if you actually had to do both, wouldn’t that mean you were taking a “#3”?
NL Manager of the Year:
Lou Pinella
(I’m not a Cubs fan)Basically, this is a matter of substance. This team is just so good this year. Believe it or not, I’m actually picking them to win the pennant, but lose in the Series.
NL Most Valuable Player:
Hanley Ramirez, SS, Marlins
Not that he hasn’t already proven himself, but THIS is the year he absolutely nuts himself like a Jewish wiener on ecstasy.NL CY Young Winner:
Johan Santana (First off, let it be known that I have a “Johan Fetish")
After compiling innings in his first two years like Britney Spears gulps down losers' sperm, Timmy Lincecum throws his arm out of socket and Johan produces beyond belief in his second season in the inferior National League.
NL Rookie of the Year:
Tie.
Pablo “Not a Traditional Mexican Cuisine” Sandoval, 1b, 2b, C, Giants
And
Colby Rasmus, CF, Cardinals (the future Sizemore)
NL Rookie Pitcher of the Year:
James McDonald, RHP, Dodgers
In four appearances last year, the future Doc Gooden didn’t allow a single run. If you've never seen this guy, you will wish you had come late July when you're spending Sunday afternoon drinking beer in the bathtub, fingers crossed, hoping Brian Bannister holds on for the win you desperately need.
NL Division Winners:
EAST - Phillies
CENTRAL - Cubs
WEST - Dodgers
NL Wild Card Team: Florida Marlins
NL Champion: Chicago Freakin’ Cubs. Old McDonald had a farm and Soriano was his name-o.
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